Starting to look for a lover

This is my first blog in spite of the fact that I have been working in the computer and internet industry for the past 10 years. I suppose that I am writing a blog because this is the first time that I have felt a need to write down what I am thinking and doing -- maybe it is because this is the only way that I can talk about what is happening in my life, since there is no one that I can talk to about what (I hope) I am about to do. I don't know if anyone will read this, but that is not really what is important to me, this blog is my therapy.

I am an American originally from the mid-west who has been living in Spain for the past more or less 10 years (I don't want to be too specific about myself, or I might give myself away!) and I have a Spanish wife, with whom I have children. Because of the children I am not ready to leave my wife, although I don't discount this possibility in the future.

I have finally given up on trying to make things work, since it is abundantly clear to me that my wife has no desire to work with me to make our relationship function. I am tired of being considered little more than a nanny for our children, and after being rejected by my wife time after time, I have finally decided to try to find myself a lover. I want to rediscover that desire that I used to feel for my wife, but now with another woman, and to feel what it feels like to be desired again. This is not only about sex -- there are "professionals" for that kind of thing, but they would not provide me with what I am looking for.

Please don't judge me or call me selfish and insensitive and a coward -- I have made my decision, and I am moving forward with it.

I started my search by using Google to find websites dedicated to people in my situation. I quickly found several sites that are available in English and Spanish, and that seem to have lots of users in Spain. I started with one called beNaughty that looked good, but turns out to be a scam - basically full of false contacts that send you messages that you have to pay to respond to. Just afterwards, I found AshleyMadison and RomanceSecreto. The first seems to have lots of references, and the second is totally free. I have decided to start with RomanceSecreto, and that is where we start the story.... I'll keep you posted on how things go

Lonely Marco