I have screwed up and have hurt people important to me. I know that you would think that perhaps my wife has caught me cheating, but that is not the case. I have been caught by Vice (my lover) writing this blog and telling intimate details about our intimate encounter. But that is not the part that really bothered her ... what she really didn't like is that the entire time before and after our encounter I was still trying to meet other women. She is also mad that I am lusting after Amy, even though nothing will ever happen with her. Vice told me that she never wants to see me or speak to me ever again... I have a terrible feeling in my heart and stomach, and I really don't know what to do. I could erase this blog, but that wouldn't fix anything, and it feels like it would be like throwing away all of the effort that I have put into creating it. .. therefore I will leave it up (for now) and see what happens.
So, how did I get caught? .. In the chat groups on RomanceSecreto, some people were talking about this blog and trying to figure out who Vice was, and then Vice entered into the chat room and then decided to read this blog ... She immediately figured out that the blog was about her ... Even though I never "cheated" on Vice, she has seen that I have not really been mentally faithful ... and in her mind I was cheating on her..
I am going to stop writing this blog for a while, while I think about my next steps.
It has been an exciting journey, and perhaps once the fallout from this latest episode passes over I will start to write again. I don't plan on stopping my use of RomanceSecreto, but I do plan on not writing any more for the time being.
Cheers
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Tranquility
Wow, how relaxing! Compared to how busy I was last week ;-)
Well, basically everything is really relaxed this week. I mentioned in my last entry that Quick had agreed to meet me, but since then she hasn't said anything .. she has totally disappeared .. but I know her well enough to know that eventually she will say something .. if she isn't speaking it is because she is super busy ..
And Vice? What about her? Yesterday we finally chatted on MSN ... we did a "review of the game" .. the best goals .. the best plays, and things like that ... hahah .. what fun .. and, yes! We are talking about having a repeat experience, and we are trying to figure out how to arrange it .. it won't be easy. Anyway, step by step, it is still early.
On the other hand, I continue socializing and meeting people in the RomanceSecreto chat ... what a shame that I live so far from the center of the city ... even though not everyone is there, there is one person in particular that I would like to meet .. but, there will be time for that.
It has been a while since I have mentioned Amy ... maybe because there is nothing new in her situation, and there is nothing new between her and I .. and I doubt that there ever will be .. we are friends but that doesn't mean that I have stopped wanting her. Anyway, I continue to think what I have always thought, which is that she is better as a friend.
Until next time!
Well, basically everything is really relaxed this week. I mentioned in my last entry that Quick had agreed to meet me, but since then she hasn't said anything .. she has totally disappeared .. but I know her well enough to know that eventually she will say something .. if she isn't speaking it is because she is super busy ..
And Vice? What about her? Yesterday we finally chatted on MSN ... we did a "review of the game" .. the best goals .. the best plays, and things like that ... hahah .. what fun .. and, yes! We are talking about having a repeat experience, and we are trying to figure out how to arrange it .. it won't be easy. Anyway, step by step, it is still early.
On the other hand, I continue socializing and meeting people in the RomanceSecreto chat ... what a shame that I live so far from the center of the city ... even though not everyone is there, there is one person in particular that I would like to meet .. but, there will be time for that.
It has been a while since I have mentioned Amy ... maybe because there is nothing new in her situation, and there is nothing new between her and I .. and I doubt that there ever will be .. we are friends but that doesn't mean that I have stopped wanting her. Anyway, I continue to think what I have always thought, which is that she is better as a friend.
Until next time!
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Socializing
After all the excitement of last week - preparing for and finally experiencing my intimate encounter with Vice, this week looks like it will be much more relaxed.
Vice looks like she is busy this week, but hopefully we can meet up next week... and the million dollar question ... will I have another intimate date with her?... I really have no idea .. I was thinking that I wouldn't, but now I am not so sure. I'll let some more time pass, and we'll see each other and see what happens.
This week, I am definitely going try to meet up with Quick ... the name that I have chosen to call her is definitely appropriate ... she still responds within 5 minutes of each message that I send her. I asked her if she wants to meet up this week, and she agreed. Anyway, it will just be to talk ... especially since she is so against infidelity. She warned me not to do it when I told her about my planned encounter with Vice last week .. and I didn't pay attention. We will just be friends I guess.
And "Foreigner" ... haha .. after not saying anything to me she wrote to me in another account that I have on RomanceSecreto .. and so I decided to have some fun, and I told her the truth -- that she had already sent me a message to a different profile of mine, and that I sent her the key to my private photos, and that she didn't respond to me... and told her that I hope that she finds what she is looking for. After about half an hour, she responded to me and simply said .. "you're bad". LOL.
And finally, I have continued socializing in the chat rooms of RomanceSecreto, where I met a new woman whom I will refer to as "Fantasy" ... she seems to be very educated and writes very well. She has read this blog and she liked it ... she also has her own blog which I read. She isn't from close to where I live, but she mentioned that she might pass by some time in the next few months.
And one more thing ... it is worth mentioning that in this blog I write things exactly how I feel and think in the moment that I write them. In one entry I might mention what is in my mind at that moment, and in the next I might write the exact opposite, depending on my circumstances at that moment including responses from other members of RomanceSecreto, of if I have slept well, how mad I am at my boss, or if my wife is in a good or bad mood .. and many other things..
See you soon!
Vice looks like she is busy this week, but hopefully we can meet up next week... and the million dollar question ... will I have another intimate date with her?... I really have no idea .. I was thinking that I wouldn't, but now I am not so sure. I'll let some more time pass, and we'll see each other and see what happens.
This week, I am definitely going try to meet up with Quick ... the name that I have chosen to call her is definitely appropriate ... she still responds within 5 minutes of each message that I send her. I asked her if she wants to meet up this week, and she agreed. Anyway, it will just be to talk ... especially since she is so against infidelity. She warned me not to do it when I told her about my planned encounter with Vice last week .. and I didn't pay attention. We will just be friends I guess.
And "Foreigner" ... haha .. after not saying anything to me she wrote to me in another account that I have on RomanceSecreto .. and so I decided to have some fun, and I told her the truth -- that she had already sent me a message to a different profile of mine, and that I sent her the key to my private photos, and that she didn't respond to me... and told her that I hope that she finds what she is looking for. After about half an hour, she responded to me and simply said .. "you're bad". LOL.
And finally, I have continued socializing in the chat rooms of RomanceSecreto, where I met a new woman whom I will refer to as "Fantasy" ... she seems to be very educated and writes very well. She has read this blog and she liked it ... she also has her own blog which I read. She isn't from close to where I live, but she mentioned that she might pass by some time in the next few months.
And one more thing ... it is worth mentioning that in this blog I write things exactly how I feel and think in the moment that I write them. In one entry I might mention what is in my mind at that moment, and in the next I might write the exact opposite, depending on my circumstances at that moment including responses from other members of RomanceSecreto, of if I have slept well, how mad I am at my boss, or if my wife is in a good or bad mood .. and many other things..
See you soon!
Monday, July 23, 2012
Life goes on
Now that things have cooled down, it is time to reflect on what has happened. It was about two months from I started to talk to Vice to the the time that we had our "encounter" .. they say that good things come to those who wait. But ... now what? I guess that I'll give myself time to see what happens next. I suspect that Vice and I won't see each other again for an encounter like the one we had a few days ago ... and if that is how it is, I still don't want to lose her as a friend ... I feel very comfortable with her. In fact, we have already made plans to see each other next week just to see each other, drink a coffee, and talk.
In RomanceSecreto I am meeting new people .. last night I was connected to the group chat, something that I haven't done very often up until now .. I was fun, I got some new ideas for future fantasies, and I will be in contact with some of the people that I chatted with... when I get some free time .. sigh.. this is taking so much of my free time ... and being a married man and all .. it is getting complicated to find enough time to keep up with everything. It doesn't surprise me that a lot of the women don't respond to all the messages that they receive .. I have talked with many of them who have told me that they receive 20 messages per day .. which is totally impossible to handle.
Amy and Quick are still around, even though Quick feels pretty strongly against infidelity... and the other two new contacts, "Warrier" and "Foreigner" have totally disappeared. I might try again with Warrier just to see if I can get anywhere, but my lack of free time might make it a challenge.
Cheers!
In RomanceSecreto I am meeting new people .. last night I was connected to the group chat, something that I haven't done very often up until now .. I was fun, I got some new ideas for future fantasies, and I will be in contact with some of the people that I chatted with... when I get some free time .. sigh.. this is taking so much of my free time ... and being a married man and all .. it is getting complicated to find enough time to keep up with everything. It doesn't surprise me that a lot of the women don't respond to all the messages that they receive .. I have talked with many of them who have told me that they receive 20 messages per day .. which is totally impossible to handle.
Amy and Quick are still around, even though Quick feels pretty strongly against infidelity... and the other two new contacts, "Warrier" and "Foreigner" have totally disappeared. I might try again with Warrier just to see if I can get anywhere, but my lack of free time might make it a challenge.
Cheers!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Experience of a lifetime
Let's see how I can write this blog entry without it getting erased for being too erotic..
Yesterday was the agreed upon day, in the morning to be exact. We took everything as if we had all the time in the world ... both for her and for I this was the first time being unfaithful .. and so we first went for breakfast and we talked ... and so it didn't seem so cold and impersonal what we were about to do.
As soon as we arrived at the hotel, they immediately took us to the room. I notice that Vice is feeling nervous, and she was holding my hand tightly on the way to the room and I could sense her pulse rising...luckily I was able to stay totally calm.
Once inside .. our time had come .. the moment that I had been anticipating for so long... our level of desire was in the clouds, and without a doubt, this was the best experience of my life. We didn't leave out anything that I had prepared for our encounter ... massage oil, strawberries with whipped cream in the bathtub, the blindfold, and the feather .. but without a doubt, the best of all was the liquid chocolate and the whipped cream .. I won't say exactly how we used it, but I am sure you can use your imagination... If I get into too many details they might shut this blog down!
Speaking of sex, I tried things that I had always wanted to try, but that I had never had the chance... and above all was Vice .. the way that she felt everything and the enjoyment and passion that she expressed ...amazing! She was the exact opposite from my wife ... night and day.
We spent six hours together in the room .. clearly we weren't "working" the entire time, we had time between acts to talk, to relax in the bath, to check out RomanceSecreto, to laugh, etc.
Yesterday was the agreed upon day, in the morning to be exact. We took everything as if we had all the time in the world ... both for her and for I this was the first time being unfaithful .. and so we first went for breakfast and we talked ... and so it didn't seem so cold and impersonal what we were about to do.
As soon as we arrived at the hotel, they immediately took us to the room. I notice that Vice is feeling nervous, and she was holding my hand tightly on the way to the room and I could sense her pulse rising...luckily I was able to stay totally calm.
Once inside .. our time had come .. the moment that I had been anticipating for so long... our level of desire was in the clouds, and without a doubt, this was the best experience of my life. We didn't leave out anything that I had prepared for our encounter ... massage oil, strawberries with whipped cream in the bathtub, the blindfold, and the feather .. but without a doubt, the best of all was the liquid chocolate and the whipped cream .. I won't say exactly how we used it, but I am sure you can use your imagination... If I get into too many details they might shut this blog down!
Speaking of sex, I tried things that I had always wanted to try, but that I had never had the chance... and above all was Vice .. the way that she felt everything and the enjoyment and passion that she expressed ...amazing! She was the exact opposite from my wife ... night and day.
We spent six hours together in the room .. clearly we weren't "working" the entire time, we had time between acts to talk, to relax in the bath, to check out RomanceSecreto, to laugh, etc.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Getting ready
Before anything else, no, I have not yet had my date with vice, it is happening in the next few hours... in the meantime, I am preparing the list of everything that I am going to bring with me that I hope to use: strawberries, whipped cream and liquid chocolate, a blindfold, a feather to tickle her, and massage oil to give her a nice massage. Basically this is a fantasy for the both of us, and I am going to treat it as such.
Speaking of the other contacts, there are two new ones ..
I'll call the first one "Warrier" for various reasons, hehehe ... but basically because she is a woman that seems to be quite direct .. We haven't talked a lot yet, so we'll have to see how things go.
On the other hand, there is a foreign (non Spanish) woman whom I'll call "Foreigner" because it is going to be difficult to speak with her. I don't have much hope for anything to come out of the contact with her .. she had asked me for the key to see my private photos and then didn't send me any more messages ... maybe I'm not her type. Just in case, I sent her the link to this blog, and hopefully she will read it, and I hope she understands it since her English (and Spanish) is not very good. If you are reading this "Foreigner", hi!
Quick has disappeared .. basically, she found a separated man that she could share her experiences and feelings with. I decided to try to have her take the place of Amy, and to be my new confidant .. so I explained to her that I was about to take the final step into infidelity and she told me that I shouldn't do it .. that I should separate from my wife ... but, I am afraid that I am not going to listen to her advice .. The decision is made, and it was made a long time ago.
One of my co-workers is impressed and looks at me with admiration with what I am achieving on RomanceSecreto, and so I gave him the link.
And, one more thing. Amy is still seeing her married lover ... and she is totally in love with him. She thinks that she'll never find anyone better than him, no matter how much she looks .. hopefully one day the feeling will be mutual.
And, and about me? Do I feel bad? hmmmmm .... not at all ... I'll let you know after my encounter with Vice
Until the next time!
Speaking of the other contacts, there are two new ones ..
I'll call the first one "Warrier" for various reasons, hehehe ... but basically because she is a woman that seems to be quite direct .. We haven't talked a lot yet, so we'll have to see how things go.
On the other hand, there is a foreign (non Spanish) woman whom I'll call "Foreigner" because it is going to be difficult to speak with her. I don't have much hope for anything to come out of the contact with her .. she had asked me for the key to see my private photos and then didn't send me any more messages ... maybe I'm not her type. Just in case, I sent her the link to this blog, and hopefully she will read it, and I hope she understands it since her English (and Spanish) is not very good. If you are reading this "Foreigner", hi!
Quick has disappeared .. basically, she found a separated man that she could share her experiences and feelings with. I decided to try to have her take the place of Amy, and to be my new confidant .. so I explained to her that I was about to take the final step into infidelity and she told me that I shouldn't do it .. that I should separate from my wife ... but, I am afraid that I am not going to listen to her advice .. The decision is made, and it was made a long time ago.
One of my co-workers is impressed and looks at me with admiration with what I am achieving on RomanceSecreto, and so I gave him the link.
And, one more thing. Amy is still seeing her married lover ... and she is totally in love with him. She thinks that she'll never find anyone better than him, no matter how much she looks .. hopefully one day the feeling will be mutual.
And, and about me? Do I feel bad? hmmmmm .... not at all ... I'll let you know after my encounter with Vice
Until the next time!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
The moment is almost here
It is almost real, Vice has accepted my proposal to meet next week, and will will finally have our anxiously anticipated encounter ... hehehe ... for obvious reasons of privacy and security, I won't mention where we will meet..
Vice commented to me that she has never "intimately been" with anyone but her husband .. and the truth is that for me I haven't had a lot more experience than her, but still .. what a surprise! She also mentioned that to go directly to the hotel seemed to be too direct .. which I can see. So, we have a plan to meet for a coffee before anything..
In the end, I guess that it might be true what she told me about never having been unfaithful in her life... but with these kinds of things there is always a doubt .. however, given what I have seen, it seems to be true. So we will be together for our first time being unfaithful!
And leaving that aside for a moment, I have felt pretty embarrassed for the past few days because Amy has read this entire blog, and of course she has asked me a few "delicate questions" about things that I have written here, I mean, here I have explained everything as I feel it and as I live it ... and I plan on continuing to do the same even if she continues to read it ... it doesn't matter. I know (hope) that she won't end our friendship just because of this blog.
And "quick" has disappeared ...she doesn't send me messages and I haven't seen her on RomanceSecreto.. I hope that nothing has happened with her husband .. or with her personal problems (which she has a lot of) .. if she doesn't let me know anything in the next few days, I'll send her another message.
Vice commented to me that she has never "intimately been" with anyone but her husband .. and the truth is that for me I haven't had a lot more experience than her, but still .. what a surprise! She also mentioned that to go directly to the hotel seemed to be too direct .. which I can see. So, we have a plan to meet for a coffee before anything..
In the end, I guess that it might be true what she told me about never having been unfaithful in her life... but with these kinds of things there is always a doubt .. however, given what I have seen, it seems to be true. So we will be together for our first time being unfaithful!
And leaving that aside for a moment, I have felt pretty embarrassed for the past few days because Amy has read this entire blog, and of course she has asked me a few "delicate questions" about things that I have written here, I mean, here I have explained everything as I feel it and as I live it ... and I plan on continuing to do the same even if she continues to read it ... it doesn't matter. I know (hope) that she won't end our friendship just because of this blog.
And "quick" has disappeared ...she doesn't send me messages and I haven't seen her on RomanceSecreto.. I hope that nothing has happened with her husband .. or with her personal problems (which she has a lot of) .. if she doesn't let me know anything in the next few days, I'll send her another message.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
The proposal
Good news about Vice,
Yesterday when we were having another session of cyber-"fun", we started to talk about our next meeting, our intimate encounter, that we are both looking forward to.
For people that don't live in Spain, it may seem strange, but there are hotels that rent rooms by the hour, with dark covered windows, with a garage that opens and closes rapidly so that you can drive you car in without anyone seeing you, and with many other features to protect the privacy of the guests ... in any case, I was afraid to suggest one of these hotels to Vice for our first intimate encounter, but we don't really have many options (and effectively we are precisely the clients that these hotels are designed for). In the end, I mentioned it and she didn't seem to mind the idea, even though she didn't want to use the particular "hotel" that I suggested to her because she knows people in that neighborhood. Tomorrow I'll propose some other ones to her .. I have two alternatives in mind which I think could be acceptable, and I really hope that she agrees to one of them ... finally, we will be able to release our desire.
One more thing, some people from RomanceSecreto have found out about this blog, since "the creator" posted a link from the press section of RomanceSecreto to here. Amy, if you are reading this I hope that you do get mad about what I have written about you , it is just what I felt, no more no less. I hope that we can continue to be friends.
Until the next one
Yesterday when we were having another session of cyber-"fun", we started to talk about our next meeting, our intimate encounter, that we are both looking forward to.
For people that don't live in Spain, it may seem strange, but there are hotels that rent rooms by the hour, with dark covered windows, with a garage that opens and closes rapidly so that you can drive you car in without anyone seeing you, and with many other features to protect the privacy of the guests ... in any case, I was afraid to suggest one of these hotels to Vice for our first intimate encounter, but we don't really have many options (and effectively we are precisely the clients that these hotels are designed for). In the end, I mentioned it and she didn't seem to mind the idea, even though she didn't want to use the particular "hotel" that I suggested to her because she knows people in that neighborhood. Tomorrow I'll propose some other ones to her .. I have two alternatives in mind which I think could be acceptable, and I really hope that she agrees to one of them ... finally, we will be able to release our desire.
One more thing, some people from RomanceSecreto have found out about this blog, since "the creator" posted a link from the press section of RomanceSecreto to here. Amy, if you are reading this I hope that you do get mad about what I have written about you , it is just what I felt, no more no less. I hope that we can continue to be friends.
Until the next one
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Slowly moving ahead with Vice
Well, basically I have a problem.. remember when I said that this was becoming an obsession? Well, it is no longer "becoming" an obsession, it *is* an obsession. I dedicate too much time to this, and it is starting to affect my work and I need more sleep.. I don't know if it is insomnia or the adrenaline or emotional highs and lows .. but I sometimes feel like I am losing my mind..
Yesterday I saw Vice online on messenger, and we chatted and chatted .. until we started to have ciber"fun" .. LOL .. it was awesome! .. it was a first for both of us, and we didn't even have the camera turned on... she doesn't have one on her iPad. We are still waiting for our intimate encounter, and I hope that I'll be able to meet with her somewhere near her work some time during the next few days ...even if it is just for a few minutes .. I just want to see her!!
"Quick" stopped being fast for a day and I already miss her ... she works in IT like myself, but she is more at a systems level .. my wife is also in IT, and that is just what I need in my life .. another IT person! In any case, we have lots of things in common to talk about which is nice. I still have to wait to see if she wants to get to know me ..
And as an interesting side note, remember "Tammy"? She added me to her messenger after erasing me .. I have no idea, but maybe something weird happened.. After that I added her back to my "chat friends" list in RomanceSecreto, but I am not going to say anything to her until she writes to me first -- and only if she writes to me first, I spent enough time chasing her..
Yesterday I saw Vice online on messenger, and we chatted and chatted .. until we started to have ciber"fun" .. LOL .. it was awesome! .. it was a first for both of us, and we didn't even have the camera turned on... she doesn't have one on her iPad. We are still waiting for our intimate encounter, and I hope that I'll be able to meet with her somewhere near her work some time during the next few days ...even if it is just for a few minutes .. I just want to see her!!
"Quick" stopped being fast for a day and I already miss her ... she works in IT like myself, but she is more at a systems level .. my wife is also in IT, and that is just what I need in my life .. another IT person! In any case, we have lots of things in common to talk about which is nice. I still have to wait to see if she wants to get to know me ..
And as an interesting side note, remember "Tammy"? She added me to her messenger after erasing me .. I have no idea, but maybe something weird happened.. After that I added her back to my "chat friends" list in RomanceSecreto, but I am not going to say anything to her until she writes to me first -- and only if she writes to me first, I spent enough time chasing her..
Monday, July 16, 2012
Being romantic
And so I continue to write in this blog everything that is happening in my adventures.
Vice continues in the picture, and I am happy to know that she is still there ... ever since I uncovered my romantic and poetic side, she has started to write me again. I have started the habit of sending her a love note each night, along with a link to a romantic song.
Yesterday I was talking with Vice on messenger ... and for some reason she thought that I didn't want to continue our "relationship", when in reality I am dying of desire to continue and move forward with what we are doing. So I let her know that I am really into her, and that I want to continue... and I asked if she liked my last few messages, to which she responded "yes!!" .. and so I will continue to send her romantic messages, at least for now until I get to see her again.
With Amy .. hmm! .. seeing that she really didn't seem to care that I was ignoring her, and given that I don't want to lose her, I decided to continue talking and sending her messages.. and even then, she still sometimes ignores me or leaves me hanging in a chat conversation .. I am really thinking of asking her something like "Do you want me to just stop talking with you? .. it is ok if that is what you want, etc." Although, I know that I might not like the answer, it might be better than continuing on like this and getting annoyed with her. I have explained everything that is happening with Vice to Amy, and she continues on with her married man (whose name I now know) .. but I think it is best for me to just not ask any questions about her "married guy".. except here in my blog, of course. Oh yeah, today she started to change the subject when I started to tell her about all of her qualities ... did I do something wrong?
And with "Quick", we have now exchanged information to continue our conversations outside of RomanceSecreto .. and it was her who offered to send me her email without me even asking... now I know her real name, and she knows mine... She mentioned that she was going to give it another shot with her husband, mostly because of the problems caused by the crisis and the real estate crash, it is now almost impossible for them to move apart ... like lots of others in Spain (unlike the United States), you cannot just give your house back to the bank and declare bankruptcy ... you will pay the debt for the rest of your life, and if you bought a place with someone, you will never get a mortgage to move somewhere else as long as your mortgage is underwater.
Vice continues in the picture, and I am happy to know that she is still there ... ever since I uncovered my romantic and poetic side, she has started to write me again. I have started the habit of sending her a love note each night, along with a link to a romantic song.
Yesterday I was talking with Vice on messenger ... and for some reason she thought that I didn't want to continue our "relationship", when in reality I am dying of desire to continue and move forward with what we are doing. So I let her know that I am really into her, and that I want to continue... and I asked if she liked my last few messages, to which she responded "yes!!" .. and so I will continue to send her romantic messages, at least for now until I get to see her again.
With Amy .. hmm! .. seeing that she really didn't seem to care that I was ignoring her, and given that I don't want to lose her, I decided to continue talking and sending her messages.. and even then, she still sometimes ignores me or leaves me hanging in a chat conversation .. I am really thinking of asking her something like "Do you want me to just stop talking with you? .. it is ok if that is what you want, etc." Although, I know that I might not like the answer, it might be better than continuing on like this and getting annoyed with her. I have explained everything that is happening with Vice to Amy, and she continues on with her married man (whose name I now know) .. but I think it is best for me to just not ask any questions about her "married guy".. except here in my blog, of course. Oh yeah, today she started to change the subject when I started to tell her about all of her qualities ... did I do something wrong?
And with "Quick", we have now exchanged information to continue our conversations outside of RomanceSecreto .. and it was her who offered to send me her email without me even asking... now I know her real name, and she knows mine... She mentioned that she was going to give it another shot with her husband, mostly because of the problems caused by the crisis and the real estate crash, it is now almost impossible for them to move apart ... like lots of others in Spain (unlike the United States), you cannot just give your house back to the bank and declare bankruptcy ... you will pay the debt for the rest of your life, and if you bought a place with someone, you will never get a mortgage to move somewhere else as long as your mortgage is underwater.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Surviving
If I had to use one word to describe my situation, it would be "surviving"
Amy, my friend ... or the person that I considered to be my friend ... is behaving like anything but a friend. She is definitely trying to avoid me now ... and I though that she wasn't that kind of a person .. but she is. She avoids me. I have made a decision ... if she ignores me and leaves me hanging during our chat conversations, then I will start to ignore her and do the same. Hopefully once she notices that she doesn't have me waiting to support her and to give her advice, then she will ask me what is happening and why I am so cold to her .. . then we can talk.. In any case, if it doesn't work out it is her loss...
And Vice? She must be having so many doubts about me. Anyway, last night in a moment of weakness I wrote her an email, in a very gentle and elegant way, in which I explained many things her .. things that we had both experienced in our lives, our desires, my feelings for her, etc. She responded to me saying that it was the most beautiful message she had ever received in her entire life ... and that there was something that she wanted to tell me , but that she did not dare to say it.. anyway, at least it seems like everything is not yet lost with Vice.
And finally "Quick" is beginning to confide in me and to explain to me her situation... a very delicate situation .. she lives with her partner, but in-fact is totally physically and emotionally separated from him. Curiously, her life has a lot of similarities to mine, and she is thinking about options that she didn't dare consider a few weeks ago, such as a complete separation... but not yet. Maybe Quick will be the friend that I used to think I had in Amy.
As I mentioned in my previous blog, I have started to make new contacts in RomanceSecreto.com, but as usual, the majority haven't responded to my messages. At least this time I am mentally prepared for the time and effort that I will have to dedicate in order to achieve my objectives..
I will continue to write.
Amy, my friend ... or the person that I considered to be my friend ... is behaving like anything but a friend. She is definitely trying to avoid me now ... and I though that she wasn't that kind of a person .. but she is. She avoids me. I have made a decision ... if she ignores me and leaves me hanging during our chat conversations, then I will start to ignore her and do the same. Hopefully once she notices that she doesn't have me waiting to support her and to give her advice, then she will ask me what is happening and why I am so cold to her .. . then we can talk.. In any case, if it doesn't work out it is her loss...
And Vice? She must be having so many doubts about me. Anyway, last night in a moment of weakness I wrote her an email, in a very gentle and elegant way, in which I explained many things her .. things that we had both experienced in our lives, our desires, my feelings for her, etc. She responded to me saying that it was the most beautiful message she had ever received in her entire life ... and that there was something that she wanted to tell me , but that she did not dare to say it.. anyway, at least it seems like everything is not yet lost with Vice.
And finally "Quick" is beginning to confide in me and to explain to me her situation... a very delicate situation .. she lives with her partner, but in-fact is totally physically and emotionally separated from him. Curiously, her life has a lot of similarities to mine, and she is thinking about options that she didn't dare consider a few weeks ago, such as a complete separation... but not yet. Maybe Quick will be the friend that I used to think I had in Amy.
As I mentioned in my previous blog, I have started to make new contacts in RomanceSecreto.com, but as usual, the majority haven't responded to my messages. At least this time I am mentally prepared for the time and effort that I will have to dedicate in order to achieve my objectives..
I will continue to write.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Starting over?
I am starting over .. in every sense. Vice has made herself scarce, I think that she isn't sure if she wants to take the "big step" .. compared with how we were last week, she seems to be fleeing away from me... she must be having second thoughts .. but I don't want to put pressure on her and I don't want to spend all day trying to pursue her ... honestly ... she needs to think clearly and if she wants this to work between us she needs to put some effort into it ... it is too tiring to have to do all the work..
And about Amy, I did what I never thought I would do ... I told her the truth, basically that I was jealous of the other guy, her married lover ..I think that she didn't like what I said, and she seems to be avoiding me a bit now. I knew that this would happen, I don't know why I bothered to tell her how I felt, I knew that it would just make things worse.
So, for that reason I am re-starting in RomanceSecreto.com, as well as in AshleyMadison.com, even though someone told me that the second one looks like it is full of fake profiles ... you never know.
"Quick" has continued to respond quickly to me, and she mentioned that she misses having a lunch or dinner with good conversation ... so, I am still figuring out how to ask her .. I don't know if she will say yes or no, maybe it is still too early for a date..
And about Amy, I did what I never thought I would do ... I told her the truth, basically that I was jealous of the other guy, her married lover ..I think that she didn't like what I said, and she seems to be avoiding me a bit now. I knew that this would happen, I don't know why I bothered to tell her how I felt, I knew that it would just make things worse.
So, for that reason I am re-starting in RomanceSecreto.com, as well as in AshleyMadison.com, even though someone told me that the second one looks like it is full of fake profiles ... you never know.
"Quick" has continued to respond quickly to me, and she mentioned that she misses having a lunch or dinner with good conversation ... so, I am still figuring out how to ask her .. I don't know if she will say yes or no, maybe it is still too early for a date..
Friday, July 13, 2012
What's happening to Amy?
Well, after more than a day without hearing anything from Vice, she finally wrote me .. what a relief! I was getting scared ... hopefully we can plan a meeting for next week...
On another note... there is something that worries me .. Amy has told me that tonight her married "impossible love" lover will come to sleep with her .. I know that I shouldn't care, but I do ... I have a sinking feeling in my stomach .. I don't know what it means .. Honestly ... I don't want to fall in love with someone that I don't have any possibilities with .. I have suffered enough in my life ... honestly .. I don't want to re-live that experience. Therefore, I have decided to slowly cut-off communication with her .. today will be the first day that I don't tell her anything, and each day I'll talk to her less ... we'll see what happens
On another note... there is something that worries me .. Amy has told me that tonight her married "impossible love" lover will come to sleep with her .. I know that I shouldn't care, but I do ... I have a sinking feeling in my stomach .. I don't know what it means .. Honestly ... I don't want to fall in love with someone that I don't have any possibilities with .. I have suffered enough in my life ... honestly .. I don't want to re-live that experience. Therefore, I have decided to slowly cut-off communication with her .. today will be the first day that I don't tell her anything, and each day I'll talk to her less ... we'll see what happens
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Contact with "The Creator"
Last night I entered into RomanceSecreto, and more interesting things happened.
Obviously, I have been talking about RomanceSecreto.com through this blog, and the creator of the RomanceSecreto had noticed some traffic coming from this blog and sent me a message telling me that he was interested in my story - I am happy -- in order to generate enough traffic that he would notice it, I guess that someone is reading this blog! I thanked him for the fantastic website and told him that I planned to keep writing. Because of RomanceSecreto I am feeling so much better with my life than I was just weeks ago.
I also decided to enter into RomanceSecreto just to check it out, and I sent a woman a message, and she responded to me within minutes .. I will refer to her as "Quick" from now on - given that based on our conversations, at the very least I think that some kind of friendship will arise, and possibly something more ...
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Second date with Vice - success (almost)
The day finally arrived, the second date with Vice ...
We agreed to meet at a restaurant close to my work .. everything started out well, but a few minutes after we ordered our food, people from my office started to walk into the restaurant ... how embarrassing ... and it wasn't just anyone, it was the senior managers ... I wanted to sink into my seat!
We finished eating as fast as possible and went for a coffee at a restaurant a little ways away ... we hand't planned on going for a coffee at all, but that is just how the circumstances worked out... we got lucky and were able to get a nice cushy seat in a corner of the cafe ... and we immediately started to cover each other in kisses .. with such passion ... at the beginning Vice looked worried about kissing me so much (being a public restaurant and all) ... but after a few minutes she started to relax and there was no stopping her..
I suggested to her that we need to have an intimate date, and in that moment of passion she said yes .. and I knew from her breathing... her actions ... her kisses... that her body wanted it .. but she said that it would be complicated and that we would have to wait a bit longer for her to come up with the perfect excuse to make sure that she didn't get caught .. more waiting!!! snif snif!
In any case, next week hopefully we can arrange something, and we are getting closer to our intimate date .. I can't wait to have her in my arms and to feel each others passion ...
We agreed to meet at a restaurant close to my work .. everything started out well, but a few minutes after we ordered our food, people from my office started to walk into the restaurant ... how embarrassing ... and it wasn't just anyone, it was the senior managers ... I wanted to sink into my seat!
We finished eating as fast as possible and went for a coffee at a restaurant a little ways away ... we hand't planned on going for a coffee at all, but that is just how the circumstances worked out... we got lucky and were able to get a nice cushy seat in a corner of the cafe ... and we immediately started to cover each other in kisses .. with such passion ... at the beginning Vice looked worried about kissing me so much (being a public restaurant and all) ... but after a few minutes she started to relax and there was no stopping her..
I suggested to her that we need to have an intimate date, and in that moment of passion she said yes .. and I knew from her breathing... her actions ... her kisses... that her body wanted it .. but she said that it would be complicated and that we would have to wait a bit longer for her to come up with the perfect excuse to make sure that she didn't get caught .. more waiting!!! snif snif!
In any case, next week hopefully we can arrange something, and we are getting closer to our intimate date .. I can't wait to have her in my arms and to feel each others passion ...
Monday, July 9, 2012
Strange things that happen in RomanceSecreto
I wasn't going to write anything today, because with Vice there is not much new..
One thing that I have seen are some "fake" profiles that have returned to RomanceSecreto. If they are reported to the administrator, they seem to get removed very quickly, but you need to beware. Basically if you receive a message from a single woman who is 26 to 29 years old, automatically be suspicions .. make sure it is not a scam .. there are some people that appear to setup profiles that ask you to chat on MSN, and then later try to invite you to a website that you have to pay for in order to continue chatting with them and to see their "explicit" profile.
But the funniest thing that happened to me was another message that I received .. my profile name gives the impression of a "man in uniform", and so there was a swinger couple that sent me a message saying that the woman has a fantasy of having a threesome with her husband and a police officer at the same time... LOL .. I responded that I am not a police officer, but that maybe we could meet up one day .. the truth is that the message did make me curious .. but in reality it is unlikely that we will ever meet, they are too far away.
Tomorrow I get to see Vice!
One thing that I have seen are some "fake" profiles that have returned to RomanceSecreto. If they are reported to the administrator, they seem to get removed very quickly, but you need to beware. Basically if you receive a message from a single woman who is 26 to 29 years old, automatically be suspicions .. make sure it is not a scam .. there are some people that appear to setup profiles that ask you to chat on MSN, and then later try to invite you to a website that you have to pay for in order to continue chatting with them and to see their "explicit" profile.
But the funniest thing that happened to me was another message that I received .. my profile name gives the impression of a "man in uniform", and so there was a swinger couple that sent me a message saying that the woman has a fantasy of having a threesome with her husband and a police officer at the same time... LOL .. I responded that I am not a police officer, but that maybe we could meet up one day .. the truth is that the message did make me curious .. but in reality it is unlikely that we will ever meet, they are too far away.
Tomorrow I get to see Vice!
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Planning the second date
Finally Vice's husband has gotten over his flu, and she can now get away to meet up with me.. We have setup a lunch meeting for the day after tomorrow .. basically what we planned to do a week ago, before her husband got sick.
I also propose to her that we meet up a few more days during the week, but she says that she can only get away at most once per week .. so, for this week we will just meet for lunch , and we will postpone the more intimate meeting for another day .. we are both new to this, and she want's to feel confident and secure before we take the next step, which is normal .. Even though I would have loved to have our intimate date this week, I'll wait. ... and when I see her I am going to kiss her all over!! hehe
Amy seems to be getting better, and looks to be getting over her impossible love .. She has met another married guy that seems like he would do anything for her, but from what I have heard I don't think that he is her type... we'll see. For the moment, she has made plans to see him next week in order for him to fix her computer (I wish she had asked me instead!!), and she has already told me that it is possible that she might have sex with him ... :-)
Well, that is all for now -- I'll write more after my lunch with Vice.
I also propose to her that we meet up a few more days during the week, but she says that she can only get away at most once per week .. so, for this week we will just meet for lunch , and we will postpone the more intimate meeting for another day .. we are both new to this, and she want's to feel confident and secure before we take the next step, which is normal .. Even though I would have loved to have our intimate date this week, I'll wait. ... and when I see her I am going to kiss her all over!! hehe
Amy seems to be getting better, and looks to be getting over her impossible love .. She has met another married guy that seems like he would do anything for her, but from what I have heard I don't think that he is her type... we'll see. For the moment, she has made plans to see him next week in order for him to fix her computer (I wish she had asked me instead!!), and she has already told me that it is possible that she might have sex with him ... :-)
Well, that is all for now -- I'll write more after my lunch with Vice.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
More desire
I continue with my adventures .. Vice and I are still sending messages .. and she knows that it makes me happy when she sends me a message, and I know that it makes her happy when she receives a message.
I have started to think about what I would like to do with her on our next date, now that it is getting more clear that we will get intimate soon .. I am thinking about handcuffs, but I'll probably leave those for later until we know each other better .. or whipped cream and liquid chocolate .. just imagine how much fun you could have with that! .... I can't wait for us to finally plan our meeting.
About Amy, she is torturing herself over her impossible love ... I have advised her to just ignore him, and move on .. I know it is difficult, but I am sure that it is the best thing for her. She cant' be waiting for his phone calls and text messages all the time, and be ready and willing to jump to go see him at a moment's notice ... he has no respect for her. I feel really bad for her.
I have started to think about what I would like to do with her on our next date, now that it is getting more clear that we will get intimate soon .. I am thinking about handcuffs, but I'll probably leave those for later until we know each other better .. or whipped cream and liquid chocolate .. just imagine how much fun you could have with that! .... I can't wait for us to finally plan our meeting.
About Amy, she is torturing herself over her impossible love ... I have advised her to just ignore him, and move on .. I know it is difficult, but I am sure that it is the best thing for her. She cant' be waiting for his phone calls and text messages all the time, and be ready and willing to jump to go see him at a moment's notice ... he has no respect for her. I feel really bad for her.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Amy gets dumped
So soon, and there is already news ..
Each day I believe Vice more and more .. it really seems true that her husband is sick, and she keeps sending me hotter and hotter emails .. My responses to her are now getting very close to mentioning an intimate encounter .. but I will wait a bit longer ..who knows, maybe she will mention something first ... Today I called her, and she like that.. and now I am pretty sure that she is not leading me on.
But, this entry is not about that .. it is about Amy .. her impossible love has, indeed turned out to be, well .. impossible... and just before she fell totally in love with him. The truth is that I feel really badly for her, and I don't know what will happen, but I will offer her my shoulder to cry on .. even though she will probably reject it.. whatever happens, she is totally unpredictable .. I don't think that we will talk about anything else other than her impossible love, but with her nothing surprises me.
That is it for today .. I have set up a date with Vice tomorrow, and we'll see how it goes... not much time to wait, and a lot of pent up desire...
Each day I believe Vice more and more .. it really seems true that her husband is sick, and she keeps sending me hotter and hotter emails .. My responses to her are now getting very close to mentioning an intimate encounter .. but I will wait a bit longer ..who knows, maybe she will mention something first ... Today I called her, and she like that.. and now I am pretty sure that she is not leading me on.
But, this entry is not about that .. it is about Amy .. her impossible love has, indeed turned out to be, well .. impossible... and just before she fell totally in love with him. The truth is that I feel really badly for her, and I don't know what will happen, but I will offer her my shoulder to cry on .. even though she will probably reject it.. whatever happens, she is totally unpredictable .. I don't think that we will talk about anything else other than her impossible love, but with her nothing surprises me.
That is it for today .. I have set up a date with Vice tomorrow, and we'll see how it goes... not much time to wait, and a lot of pent up desire...
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Another delay
Well .. not so good ....
Vice sent me an email saying that she wouldn't be able to meet me... :-( .. so I sent her a message telling her that it was no problem and that I trust her, and that I will wait .. I also told her that we can take our time to prepare our date .. what she doesn't know is that it will be a date with just her and I, totally alone - with a hotel room booked .. I don't know if she will accept or not .. in any case, I'll be tactful in the way that I ask her, just in case.
I still worry that she might not be telling me the truth - the number one rule is that if she is lying to her husband, then she is obviously capable of lying to me as well... I don't have any evidence to suspect that she is lying, but I am just worried. I won't be able to trust her until we have gotten to know each other better .. but that depends on if she wants to get to know me better. For the moment I believe that she continues to want to get to know me ..
As usual, I explained everything to Amy ... but she is still recuperating from her experience with her impossible lover ... It is looking worse for her. I have made an arrangement to see her tomorrow in the morning from 9:00am until 9:30am, and I'll just tell my boss that I have slept in and will arrive at 10.
The other girl that I had been in contact with,Tammy has totally disappeared ..
Whoa .. just as I am writing this blog entry, Vice sent me an email with kisses written all over it ... maybe what she is telling me is true .. I'll have to wait ..
Bye for now
Vice sent me an email saying that she wouldn't be able to meet me... :-( .. so I sent her a message telling her that it was no problem and that I trust her, and that I will wait .. I also told her that we can take our time to prepare our date .. what she doesn't know is that it will be a date with just her and I, totally alone - with a hotel room booked .. I don't know if she will accept or not .. in any case, I'll be tactful in the way that I ask her, just in case.
I still worry that she might not be telling me the truth - the number one rule is that if she is lying to her husband, then she is obviously capable of lying to me as well... I don't have any evidence to suspect that she is lying, but I am just worried. I won't be able to trust her until we have gotten to know each other better .. but that depends on if she wants to get to know me better. For the moment I believe that she continues to want to get to know me ..
As usual, I explained everything to Amy ... but she is still recuperating from her experience with her impossible lover ... It is looking worse for her. I have made an arrangement to see her tomorrow in the morning from 9:00am until 9:30am, and I'll just tell my boss that I have slept in and will arrive at 10.
The other girl that I had been in contact with,Tammy has totally disappeared ..
Whoa .. just as I am writing this blog entry, Vice sent me an email with kisses written all over it ... maybe what she is telling me is true .. I'll have to wait ..
Bye for now
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Still waiting
Well, after about 40 emails between Vice and I, some of them pretty steamy, with all kinds of ideas, propositions of a very erotic nature, and all the rest ... her husband got the flu which made things more complicated for our meeting. When she told me about the flu, I was afraid that this was the moment that I had feared, when she would back out of everything, but luckily she didn't - we arranged a time and place to meet in the afternoon two days from now. I'll tell my boss that I have to leave work early for some reason or another...
Whatever it takes, damn! I am really into this girl. I will see her soon, and I'll probably talk to her again before I get to kiss her .. but I really want her so badly now ..
About the other girls, I haven't heard anything from Tammy :-( .. I have written her to see if I could meet with her, but she hasn't responded to me .. I guess that means goodbye to her ... in any case, she didn't really fit into my objectives. Really .. it is her loss .. the truth is that I am not going to worry too much about losing her.
About Amy, I told her all about what is happening with Vice, and she gives me advice, and with my limited abilities, I give her advice about her situation, even though there is very little that I can do to help her ... she is the one with experience, not me. Tonight she was with the man that she is in love with, but it continues to seem to be an impossible situation for her - I don't think that he will ever really commit to her... I really fell sorry for her that she is going to realize one day that it will not work out for her ... I still secretly want her as much as ever, but I am still trying to encourage her and hope for the best for her.
I'll be back in a few days to more after the date with Vice!
Whatever it takes, damn! I am really into this girl. I will see her soon, and I'll probably talk to her again before I get to kiss her .. but I really want her so badly now ..
About the other girls, I haven't heard anything from Tammy :-( .. I have written her to see if I could meet with her, but she hasn't responded to me .. I guess that means goodbye to her ... in any case, she didn't really fit into my objectives. Really .. it is her loss .. the truth is that I am not going to worry too much about losing her.
About Amy, I told her all about what is happening with Vice, and she gives me advice, and with my limited abilities, I give her advice about her situation, even though there is very little that I can do to help her ... she is the one with experience, not me. Tonight she was with the man that she is in love with, but it continues to seem to be an impossible situation for her - I don't think that he will ever really commit to her... I really fell sorry for her that she is going to realize one day that it will not work out for her ... I still secretly want her as much as ever, but I am still trying to encourage her and hope for the best for her.
I'll be back in a few days to more after the date with Vice!
Monday, July 2, 2012
First date and a goodbye kiss
Last night I finally had my first date with "Vice".. wow!
We met in a central part of Madrid at lunch time, and we immediately went to a bar to drink a coffee and to talk about everything. I could tell that she was nervous by her laughter ... she didn't have much experience in "blind dates", but we quickly started to relax. I had a lot to talk to her about, and she had a lot to tell me as well. It is true that her relationship problems are very similar to the problems that I have with my relationship, and so from that perspective we have a lot in common - and perhaps for that reason we got along so well.
She has been with her husband for 10 years, and he doesn't give her any affection or desire, and like myself, she needs more.
We agreed that for our next date she would come for lunch to a restaurant near where I work, and I let her know that we don't have to rush things .. but that I want to continue to see her. But the best part was still to come .. we both had to go to separate metro lines, and so I accompanied her to her station.. and in this moment the topic of vices, the famous vices came up ... and in this moment she shows me her neck to smell her perfume ... mmmm. I tell her .. "if I tell you what I am thinking" ... and after a long look in my eyes she says "why don't you tell me?" .. I look deep into her eyes, and seeing that she doesn't blink or look away, I gently wrapped my hands around the back of her neck and pulled her towards me, and I gave her a kiss .. after a long kiss, we both realized that we were in the middle of the street and that people could be watching us .. and so we stopped a beautiful kiss that could have continued for hours. It was amazing...I look forward to seeing her again and being able to continue our kiss. After that, we quickly said goodbye, and I reminded her about our next meeting near my work.
She made me so excited! I felt butterflies in my stomach .. what an adrenaline rush! After our meeting, I was totally useless at work for the rest of the day ... but I felt so good!
Since our meeting, we have exchanged more messages, each one more suggestive than the last, and we are starting to finalize when we can meet next week. In fact, as soon as I am done writing this blog, I am going to check to see if I have a new message from her ... I think I have already checked 50 times :-O. .. The sensation of mixing passion with danger is unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life.
Well, since I have achieved part of my objective on RomanceSecreto, I probably won't be using it for a while, but my blog will continue!
We met in a central part of Madrid at lunch time, and we immediately went to a bar to drink a coffee and to talk about everything. I could tell that she was nervous by her laughter ... she didn't have much experience in "blind dates", but we quickly started to relax. I had a lot to talk to her about, and she had a lot to tell me as well. It is true that her relationship problems are very similar to the problems that I have with my relationship, and so from that perspective we have a lot in common - and perhaps for that reason we got along so well.
She has been with her husband for 10 years, and he doesn't give her any affection or desire, and like myself, she needs more.
We agreed that for our next date she would come for lunch to a restaurant near where I work, and I let her know that we don't have to rush things .. but that I want to continue to see her. But the best part was still to come .. we both had to go to separate metro lines, and so I accompanied her to her station.. and in this moment the topic of vices, the famous vices came up ... and in this moment she shows me her neck to smell her perfume ... mmmm. I tell her .. "if I tell you what I am thinking" ... and after a long look in my eyes she says "why don't you tell me?" .. I look deep into her eyes, and seeing that she doesn't blink or look away, I gently wrapped my hands around the back of her neck and pulled her towards me, and I gave her a kiss .. after a long kiss, we both realized that we were in the middle of the street and that people could be watching us .. and so we stopped a beautiful kiss that could have continued for hours. It was amazing...I look forward to seeing her again and being able to continue our kiss. After that, we quickly said goodbye, and I reminded her about our next meeting near my work.
She made me so excited! I felt butterflies in my stomach .. what an adrenaline rush! After our meeting, I was totally useless at work for the rest of the day ... but I felt so good!
Since our meeting, we have exchanged more messages, each one more suggestive than the last, and we are starting to finalize when we can meet next week. In fact, as soon as I am done writing this blog, I am going to check to see if I have a new message from her ... I think I have already checked 50 times :-O. .. The sensation of mixing passion with danger is unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life.
Well, since I have achieved part of my objective on RomanceSecreto, I probably won't be using it for a while, but my blog will continue!
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